When I'm Ready to Tell You, I Will.
Do you ever feel like sometimes people feel like they can get too familiar with you, way too soon? They ask questions that you haven't decided you're ready to answer, or even want to. This can happen with different situations, but particularly with the opposite sex.
I'm not sure if it's an age thing, but I'm noticing more and more that my personal comfort level is being challenged. When you don't choose to disclose all your 'bidness' when they feel you should, you're labeled as being evasive. Often, what comes next are the even more annoying questions like "Why are you so secretive? or "Why...is that not my business, or something." Nope, it isn't. But, I can let you know what my top three things are to guarantee my silence. Then comes, "Well, I'm just trying to get to know you, is all."
Some people haven't learned the art or tact of getting to know someone. Trying to get to know someone, is not firing off a series of interrogative questions. Stop listening to those people who tell you to go ahead and ask everything you want to know upfront and all at once. Don't do that, unless you want to be left sitting there by yourself! A conversation is an exchange of information between people. Unless the said person is under suspicion of something, firing off a list of nosey questions probably isn't going to get you the best reactions, or honest answers. Give it time, I say. You'll discover a lot during a conversation that you let flow. Information will come if you're really listening. When I'm ready to tell you, I will.
Introverts take their time. Maybe too long for some. It's got nothing to do with 'keeping secrets' and more to do with not having made up our minds if we even want to be around you. When I'm ready to tell you, I will. There has to be a level of trust formed. Are we there, yet? Until then, some things about myself remain on a need-to-know basis.
Here are three personal questions that I'm quick to give a side-eye when asked:
Why did you and your Ex break up? (sigh, stare, smile, then respond "irrelevant".)
Where do you work? ( Not Ok to ask where. Asking what kind of work they do is Ok.)
So, how do you get to travel to all those places? (sigh, then respond, on a plane.)
Perhaps, you have your own list of annoying questions that you'd rather not disclose until you're comfortable doing so. Some people are happy to tell you that that they're an open book. If this is you, then this post might only benefit you in accepting the fact that not everyone is. Next time, you're asked by someone if they're being too nosey...be honest. Yep.
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